I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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