I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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