I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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