my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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