The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
