is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
