Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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