Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
