Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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