I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
