ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
