sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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