Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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