Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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