Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
