hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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