what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
