just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
her vagine was all disorganized.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
my poor anus
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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