U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
