once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
