im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
