is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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