so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
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Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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