yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
