Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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