It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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