Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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