so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
