Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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