This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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