belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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