I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
