You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
