And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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