nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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