absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
