I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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