Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
