Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
