bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
