Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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