I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
