im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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