lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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