So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
