BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
