I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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