Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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