Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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