woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
