this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
