i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
