wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize