There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You're so nebulous sometimes
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
