Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
