I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
