Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize