My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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