The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
